Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something Else

Often taking care of ourselves comes after we take care of everyone else. The challenge this month is to focus on the habit of taking care of ourselves, so if this doesn’t come easy for you, you are going to need to be extra intentional this month! I know for me, as a mom to 2 teenagers, I often don’t feel like I have the time to take care of myself. And this is why the topic of this blog is so important!

In Chapter 6 of Onward, Elena dedicates a section of the chapter to learning to say no. Saying no is liberating…what would you like to say not to right now? Saying no means saying yes to something else? What do you wish you could say yes to right now? And the reality is that we might let people down and some might even get angry. Just remember that you are taking care of yourself and cultivating your resilience.

But how do you say no, especially if this is new territory for you? Elena shares the most powerful way to figure out how to respond to a request. Ask yourself, What do I want to do? Keep asking yourself this question over and over as you contemplate the rest of the mental chatter that rattles through your mind. Sort through feelings of obligation, fear of not being wanted, fear of disappointing others, fear of someone else’s anger, and keep asking yourself, What do I want to do? It may take time, and at first your response might be a barely audible whisper, but keep asking the questions and listen carefully. Then act on what you hear.

Still need some more help? Try reading this New York Times article Why You Should Learn to Say ‘No’ More Often. And then practice. And learn to listen to yourself.